Due out in Q2 2023 on the Xbox, Nintendo Switch and PC, Stolen Realm has been creating something of a bottleneck on our Steam queue. Other games aren’t getting a look in, but it’s not for the reasons we quite expected. As a tactical roguelike, we expected it to be because we were mired in its depths. Instead, we have been thoroughly enjoying its propensity for stupid, ridiculous fun. It doesn’t take itself seriously, and that’s what keeps us coming back.
A ‘tactical roguelike’ is an odd pairing, even if we’ve had plenty of examples of the two genres independently. A tactics game, in the true ‘Final Fantasy Tactics’ definition of the word, is mostly turn-based and ponderous. A roguelike is, almost exclusively, fast-paced. If a rogue-like is slow and takes too long, then players won’t be tempted in for just one more try. So, how does Stolen Realm marry the two, let alone get us playing over and over again with dumb looks on our faces?
There are a couple of answers to that. The first is that while it’s a roguelike, its dungeon-runs do actually end. Stolen Realm has a discrete mission structure, accessed from a map overview, where you can dive in and donk a brigand boss on the head or solve a local crisis. You hop in, you play some maps, and you hop out. But within those missions is a roguelike structure. Maps are procedurally generated, paths can be chosen (events, shops, rest areas and big ol’ battles are all present and correct), and everything has the distinct feel of a roguelike in the Slay the Spire vein.
The other is that turns are simultaneous… kind of. All non-CPU players take their turns at the same time, which leads to free-for-all carnage. But instead of frowning and trying to balance it all, Stolen Realm just says “go on lad!” and lets you do any stupid combinations that you can think of. There is six-player simultaneous play here, and it’s downright bonkers.
Now, the d20 fiddlers might turn their noses up at that, wondering where the opportunities for some min-maxing come in. And there are some undeniable issues, mostly around challenge. When six warriors are lighting the screen up with maneuvers and spells, the enemies don’t really get a look-in. We’ve found that, even on harder difficulties, we are chopping up enemies like it’s a Toby Carvery. Some finetuning is clearly needed to make sure that this strays beyond ‘fun chaos’ and into ‘actually using our brain’.
We can’t help thinking it’s found a niche. Tactical RPGs aren’t often brash, dim-witted affairs, and this very much fits that description. And there’s no better example of that dim-wittedness than Stolen Realm’s ragdoll physics.
Sweet Mary, it’s so much fun. Thwack an enemy and not only does it spiral off into the sunset, but it does it in slow motion. Laws of physics don’t apply here, as the merest graze will send them propelling away from you like you’d just fouled Neymar. It’s ridiculous, improbable and a little bit brilliant. In all honesty, because of the swiftness of battles, we were able to finish a map in the time it took for the first enemy to land.
Now, clearly, that’s not enough to carry a game, but what if it was? We’re now thinking about all the games that would be improved by it. FIFA, Tekken, Age of Empires II: the possibilities are endless. It’s a gimmick, but one that has us laughing like a loon.
Clearly, Stolen Realm has some paths ahead of it before its launch in Q2 2023. It needs to make its battles challenging and transcend simple chaos; and it needs to find a way to market itself based on ragdoll physics. That semi-serious title needs to go. Ragdoll Realms? Now we’re talking.
Many thanks go out to the Burst2Flame team for providing us access to Stolen Realm on Steam. They were also kind enough to give us some of their time for an exclusive interview too.
Stolen Realm will be releasing on Xbox, Switch and PC via Steam in Q2 2023.
