He never stood a chance.
Look, we all know Urban Champion isn’t a great game, but I still don’t understand how it became the poster-child of horrible “black label” NES games. It’s treated like a bear, drunk on fermented berries, awakening from hibernation every time Nintendo attempts to monetize their old game library. Urban Champion isn’t knocking over trash cans, scaring stray cats, before falling asleep hungover in a family pool. Urban Champion is just repetitive and dull.
But also Ice Climbers exists, and that game is an itch on Nintendo’s various NES marketing gimmicks that you should absolutely see your doctor about. Today. Creams haven’t worked yet, and they won’t work tomorrow. And despite these irrefutable truths, there is dissent.
As much as the above might seem like prattle, it squarely touches on our first question: Urban Champion has become persona non grata, due to hypothetical shenanigans, so what game now replaces it in its role as the personification of blight? As previously noted, this designation always rightfully belonged to Ice Climbers. Urban Champion’s one-way-trip to Elba has not impacted the fundamentals of this conversation.
Speaking of issues that keep coming back, we were also asked by Le Grand Schtroumpf where Castlevania is and why Dracula hasn’t been showing his face around these parts lately. Yes, this was sent before Dead Cells tie-in was announced, so I suppose asked and answered.
Lastly, we’ve been charged with the heady task of fueling your 2023 fitness goals with some musical inspiration. Personally, I only exercise to the soundtrack of Sonic Chronicles: The Dark Brotherhood, so I know what failure sounds like and I know the true costs of quitting. No, this is not from the Amiga – this is a system that regularly used MP3s for its music.
Welcome to 2023. Happy New Year.
…and if you want to start of 2023 the right way, you can seed RFN your own email. It’s easy, click here!
And yes, I know the mobile site still doesn’t have a send button. You can call that my 2023 resolution. The good news is that even if I don’t get it fixed, nobody read this article to see my pledge.
Oh, and here’s that list of horror films I promised you.
