Stockholm Massacre assessment – like Sport of Thrones scripted by Man Ritchie – The Guardian

Based mostly on an actual mass killing, this Sixteenth-century story of backstabbing and beheadings is a clunker with a laddish edge
‘A nice deal of this truly occurred,” reads the title card at the beginning of this action-packed historic epic. Presumably. Nevertheless it’s unlikely that anybody truly stated these phrases. Like an episode of Sport of Thrones scripted by Man Ritchie, there’s a laddish finesse to the dialogue on this Sixteenth-century story of backstabbing and beheadings. “That appears like a load of bollocks,” splutters the Danish king Christian II to an adviser in a single scene. The actors are largely Danes and Swedes talking strains in English, plus just a few Brits with a slight Scandi tinge to their accents.
The movie relies on actual occasions: the mass killing of Swedish nobles in 1520, ordered by Danish king Christian II (Claes Bang). The script offers historical past a revisionist twist or two: particularly by including a pair of aristocratic Swedish sisters, lovely Anne (Sophie Cookson) and expert hunter Freja (Alba August). The movie opens with a bloodbath at Anne’s wedding ceremony perpetrated by King Christian’s assault canines. The villains are all launched with geezerish-gangster nicknames: there’s Didrik Slagheck (Mikkel Boe Følsgaard) “AKA evilman”. One other is “man with scar”.
The film turns into semi-interesting when the sisters arrive on the Swedish courtroom the place Emily Beecham is terrific as Kristina, the widow of the late Swedish regent, scheming to free her nation from Christian’s clutches. And director Mikael Håfström doesn’t skimp on CGI spectacle within the bloody battle scenes. Some grisly moments, just like the stabbing of a baddie via the eyeball with an icicle, are clearly sourced from the annals of motion motion pictures relatively than historic file. However the movie is an excessive amount of of a clunker to realize the advantage of being cheerfully ridiculous, the dialogue crossing the road from tongue-in-cheek to risible in locations. Right here’s Christina inviting Anne for some Sixteenth-century spa motion: “Let’s have a girls-only day. No youngsters. No warfare.”
Stockholm Massacre is on UK and Irish digital platforms from 6 January, and obtainable for rental in Australia now

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