Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys,
People of all gender persuasions,
Cats and dogs and goldfish too,
You join us on quite the occasion.
We’re here today for a Push Square first,
A review written entirely in rhyme,
A review for Super Perils of Baking,
A two dimensional good time.
The story of Super Perils of Baking,
Is told in poetry form,
And so we thought we’d follow suit,
A review not quite the norm.
If you think that poetry is totally uncool,
We’re sorry to sound like buffoons,
But at least this is only a Mini Review,
So it’ll all be over soon.
It’s a game about two rival superstar bakers,
And they’re brothers, no less,
One has found an evil magical hat,
And the other must clean up his mess.
The game plays like Super Mario World,
The influence plain to see,
But there’s no Mario games on PS5,
So that’s okay with me.
There’s running, and jumping, and power-ups, too
You collect cookies, not coins or stars,
You can kill enemies by throwing whisks at them,
Or by landing on them with your arse.
There’s over fifty levels to work your way through,
Featuring mine-carts, swimming, and boss fights,
And just like in Super Mario World,
The water levels are sh*te.
It evokes Mario, Donkey Kong, Earthworm Jim,
And other games from way back when,
Not so much Sonic the Hedgehog,
Which was rubbish even back then.
In all seriousness though, all jokes aside,
There’s much here for you to enjoy,
A loving homage to the 16-bit era,
With only minor gripes that annoy.
So we recommend Super Perils of Baking,
It’s a solid seven out of ten,
And we promise, scouts honour, no word of a lie,
We’ll never do a review like this again.
