I\u2019m a dude who spends his days investing in cryptocurrency and his nights throwing sex toys onto the court at WNBA games<\/a>, and for the lifetime of me, I can\u2019t work out why I\u2019m so lonely.
It actually isn\u2019t my fault. Nothing is my fault. I\u2019m a crypto man who makes misogynistic jokes about issues on the web after which typically carries rubber sex toys into WNBA arenas and throws them onto the court<\/a>, disrupting the sport and risking participant harm as a way to draw consideration to my clever meme coin group, Green Dildo Coin<\/a>.
Why wouldn\u2019t everybody need to hang around with me, like, actually on a regular basis?
It needs to be the male loneliness epidemic<\/a>.
I’ve some robust opinions on that \u2012 and the way it\u2019s all of the fault of girls who refuse to go on dates with me so I can clarify to them the hilarity of my meme coin.
Generally I\u2019ll be round girls and I\u2019ll deliver up my meme coin, and I can inform they don\u2019t actually understand what a meme coin is<\/a> and don\u2019t get how humorous it’s that we\u2019re calling it Inexperienced Dildo Coin after which throwing inexperienced intercourse toys at WNBA video games to attract consideration to a factor that doesn\u2019t technically exist.
So I say to them, \u201cHey, for those who don\u2019t perceive what a meme coin is, I\u2019d be completely satisfied to spend a number of hours explaining it to you over a espresso date the place I discuss the whole time, use the phrase \u2018truly\u2019 a wonderfully cool quantity and ask you nothing about your self. After which you may have intercourse with me.\u201d
However they at all times both say no or stroll away laughing, and that makes me need to return to my online meme coin group<\/a> and discuss to them about how the ladies who created the male loneliness epidemic have made it arduous for me to attach with girls.
I do know my pastime of throwing colourful intercourse toys onto the courtroom at WNBA video games is edgy and funky. The president\u2019s son, Donald Trump Jr., shared a meme<\/a> that confirmed the president himself standing on the White House roof tossing a green sex toy onto a WNBA court<\/a> filled with gamers under. How can anybody name it \u201cnot humorous\u201d or \u201charmful\u201d or \u201csexist\u201d if the president\u2019s son thinks it\u2019s hilarious and is normalizing sex-toy tossing at girls\u2019s sporting occasions?
Perhaps Donald Trump Jr. would need to hang around with me and speak about meme cash.
I\u2019m so lonely.
I learn how Minnesota Lynx coach Cheryl Reeve said<\/a> of the penis-shaped issues folks like me preserve throwing onto the courtroom: \u201cThe sexualization of girls is what\u2019s used to carry girls down, and that is no completely different. These folks which are doing this needs to be held accountable. We\u2019re not the butt of the joke, they\u2019re the issue.\u201d
Coach Reeve is clearly contributing to the male loneliness epidemic by claiming that I, a crypto bro who throws intercourse toys on the courtroom at WNBA video games, am \u201cthe issue\u201d and needs to be \u201cheld accountable\u201d for the factor I preserve doing.
Since when do males who spend money on cryptocurrency and create hilarious meme cash get held accountable for his or her actions? That appears sexist, and I blame that perspective for my current state of loneliness, dissatisfaction and deep insecurity.
So far, I’ve requested 69 girls (high-five, fellow crypto bros!) who I had beforehand made sexualized feedback about on-line underneath an nameless account in the event that they wish to go on a date with me to throw intercourse toys at a WNBA recreation and be taught extra about my meme coin. Not a single one has been serious about attending to know the way fascinating and intelligent I’m. What am I presupposed to do, mirror on whether or not I\u2019m the issue, and contemplate treating different folks with respect and exhibiting an curiosity of their emotions and factors of view?
C\u2019mon. I\u2019m a crypto dude who throws intercourse toys at WNBA video games. I don\u2019t have time for that type of nonsense.
No, my loneliness is certainly the fault of girls who’re mad I preserve throwing intercourse toys throughout a girls\u2019s sporting occasion that I publicly declare to respect whereas anonymously demeaning it on-line.
At the least I’ve Inexperienced Dildo Coin. I\u2019m certain finally everybody will see how superior I’m.
Observe\u00a0USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke\u00a0on Bluesky at\u00a0@rexhuppke.bsky.social<\/a>\u00a0and on Fb at\u00a0facebook.com\/RexIsAJerk<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n