I\u2019m a dude who spends his days investing in cryptocurrency and his nights throwing sex toys onto the court at WNBA games<\/a>, and for the lifetime of me, I can\u2019t determine why I\u2019m so lonely.
It definitely isn\u2019t my fault. Nothing is my fault. I\u2019m a crypto man who makes misogynistic jokes about issues on the web after which generally carries rubber sex toys into WNBA arenas and throws them onto the court<\/a>, disrupting the sport and risking participant harm in an effort to draw consideration to my clever meme coin group, Green Dildo Coin<\/a>.
Why wouldn\u2019t everybody need to hang around with me, like, actually on a regular basis?
It must be the male loneliness epidemic<\/a>.
I’ve some sturdy opinions on that \u2012 and the way it\u2019s all of the fault of girls who refuse to go on dates with me so I can clarify to them the hilarity of my meme coin.
Typically I\u2019ll be round ladies and I\u2019ll carry up my meme coin, and I can inform they don\u2019t actually understand what a meme coin is<\/a> and don\u2019t get how humorous it’s that we\u2019re calling it Inexperienced Dildo Coin after which throwing inexperienced intercourse toys at WNBA video games to attract consideration to a factor that doesn\u2019t technically exist.
So I say to them, \u201cHey, if you happen to don\u2019t perceive what a meme coin is, I\u2019d be pleased to spend a number of hours explaining it to you over a espresso date the place I speak the whole time, use the phrase \u2018really\u2019 a superbly cool quantity and ask you nothing about your self. After which you possibly can have intercourse with me.\u201d
However they at all times both say no or stroll away laughing, and that makes me need to return to my online meme coin group<\/a> and speak to them about how the ladies who created the male loneliness epidemic have made it arduous for me to attach with ladies.
I do know my interest of throwing colourful intercourse toys onto the court docket at WNBA video games is edgy and funky. The president\u2019s son, Donald Trump Jr., shared a meme<\/a> that confirmed the president himself standing on the White House roof tossing a green sex toy onto a WNBA court<\/a> filled with gamers under. How can anybody name it \u201cnot humorous\u201d or \u201charmful\u201d or \u201csexist\u201d if the president\u2019s son thinks it\u2019s hilarious and is normalizing sex-toy tossing at ladies\u2019s sporting occasions?
Possibly Donald Trump Jr. would need to hang around with me and discuss meme cash.
I\u2019m so lonely.
I learn how Minnesota Lynx coach Cheryl Reeve said<\/a> of the penis-shaped issues individuals like me hold throwing onto the court docket: \u201cThe sexualization of girls is what\u2019s used to carry ladies down, and that is no totally different. These individuals which might be doing this ought to be held accountable. We\u2019re not the butt of the joke, they\u2019re the issue.\u201d
Coach Reeve is clearly contributing to the male loneliness epidemic by claiming that I, a crypto bro who throws intercourse toys on the court docket at WNBA video games, am \u201cthe issue\u201d and ought to be \u201cheld accountable\u201d for the factor I hold doing.
Since when do males who spend money on cryptocurrency and create hilarious meme cash get held accountable for his or her actions? That appears sexist, and I blame that perspective for my current state of loneliness, dissatisfaction and deep insecurity.
To this point, I’ve requested 69 ladies (high-five, fellow crypto bros!) who I had beforehand made sexualized feedback about on-line underneath an nameless account in the event that they wish to go on a date with me to throw intercourse toys at a WNBA recreation and study extra about my meme coin. Not a single one has been considering attending to understand how fascinating and intelligent I’m. What am I presupposed to do, mirror on whether or not I\u2019m the issue, and contemplate treating different individuals with respect and displaying an curiosity of their emotions and factors of view?
C\u2019mon. I\u2019m a crypto dude who throws intercourse toys at WNBA video games. I don\u2019t have time for that form of nonsense.
No, my loneliness is unquestionably the fault of girls who’re mad I hold throwing intercourse toys throughout a ladies\u2019s sporting occasion that I publicly declare to respect whereas anonymously demeaning it on-line.
Not less than I’ve Inexperienced Dildo Coin. I\u2019m certain finally everybody will see how superior I’m.
Comply with\u00a0USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke\u00a0on Bluesky at\u00a0@rexhuppke.bsky.social<\/a>\u00a0and on Fb at\u00a0facebook.com\/RexIsAJerk<\/a><\/em><\/p>\n